I didn’t want to go today.  I never want to.  It’s much easier to do exactly what I did the day before which is nothing of significance.  I promised myself yesterday I would run so I kept the promise.  I ran my 1 mile.  Truly this isn’t “day 1”.  I’ve been on a road to better health for the last 2 months, but my consistency has been sporadic at best.  I have been sporadically eating better.  Sporadically resistance training.  And, of course, sporadically running 1 mile.  11:43 was the pace today.  Slow.  I’ve been a little down about that.  The fastest mile I’ve had over the last 2 months was 9:57 and that was when I took my 6 year old with me and she beat me.  I didn’t even think she could run the whole way and she beat me fair and square.  That was a humbling experience to say the least.  My original goal was to get to a 9 minute mile, but I’m trying a different approach now.  My goal is just to get out everyday and do my mile.  My goal is to enjoy the process.  Focusing on the end result only discourages me when I don’t progress as fast as I think I should.  Or when I do worse than the day before.  So long as I do my run, I’ve won. 

I started this journey because what I have been doing isn’t working.  I’ve been throwing pills at all my problems for the last decade.  I’ve been dependent on these pills for my happiness, motivation, and even sleep.  Without these pills I fall apart.  It’s not sustainable long term.  The medications don’t work like they used to.  All I have now is me.  Only I can change this. 

Before I began making changes to my daily life I was on an antidepressant, an anti-psychotic, 2 sleeping pills at their max dose, ADD medication, and a beta-blocker for anxiety.  My diagnoses were generalized anxiety disorder, ADD, and insomnia. 

Welbutrin 450mg daily for depression   

Abilify 2mg daily for depression

Vyvanse 60mg daily for ADD

Propranolol 10mg twice daily for anxiety

Mirtazapine 15mg at bedtime for sleep

Ambien XR 12.5 mg at bedtime for sleep

After 2 months I am off of the anti-psychotic and 2 sleep medications.  I am on a reduced dose of the antidepressant.  I have not made changes to the ADD medication and anti-anxiety medication yet.  I don’t want to move too fast.  I want to be successful.

Here is what the medications look like now:

Welbutrin 300mg daily for depression

Vyvanse 60mg daily for ADD

Propranolol 10mg twice daily for anxiety

If you want to know the process of eliminating these medications and why I needed to do it there will be a whole post dedicated to that information coming soon. 

When I started on this whole new adventure I was 145lbs.  I am 5’2” so at that weight I am technically considered overweight.  I also don’t like how I look or how clothes fit at that weight.  Truthfully though this journey was not about looks.  It was about how I feel every day.  I wanted to feel good.  I was tired of feeling down and exhausted.  I was tired of the oppressive depression.  I am now down to 130 lbs.  I’ve accomplished this exclusively with calorie reduction and healthier eating.  I’m now ready to compliment that with regular exercise and resistance training.  This is where it gets hard for me. 

This was day 1 of the rest of my active lifestyle.